Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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