maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
