3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize