I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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