it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
