help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
