its not stalking. its research.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
