For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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