Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
