you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
