the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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