im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
