With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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