I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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