she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
