thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
