Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
