I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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