I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
