Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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