she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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