I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
