you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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