Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
