WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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