Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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