Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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