:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
