saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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