they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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