And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
