I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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