Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
