At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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