I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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