im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.