Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
