Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
