Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize