I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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