He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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