I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
