It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
