No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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