Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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