dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He better not be in your backpack
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
