Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You've changed since you got that strap on
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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