I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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