VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
