Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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