Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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