I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it glows. i had to have it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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