he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
cat food counts as protein by the way
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
