I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize