FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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