So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
