her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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