Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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