I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize