If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
